Comments on: But why are you crying? http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/ Work At Home Mum - Books and Mess! Wed, 22 Feb 2012 23:36:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Tasha http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2758 Tasha Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:28:03 +0000 http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2758 Distraction can be good, though if Rosemary's in a deep one, it doesn't work at all. Yes to both those, I think. Definitely an element of jealousy and frustration plays a big part, too. She seems to be gradually recognising it herself and calming down more quickly. And sometimes she's volunteering to discuss what made her blow up, which is really positive, I think. I think the main problem is when we react the wrong way - usually when we're tired or frustrated ourselves! Distraction can be good, though if Rosemary’s in a deep one, it doesn’t work at all.

Yes to both those, I think. Definitely an element of jealousy and frustration plays a big part, too. She seems to be gradually recognising it herself and calming down more quickly. And sometimes she’s volunteering to discuss what made her blow up, which is really positive, I think.

I think the main problem is when we react the wrong way – usually when we’re tired or frustrated ourselves!

]]> By: Tasha http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2757 Tasha Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:25:53 +0000 http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2757 Hee. Oh, you should really read Toddler Taming by Christopher Green (keep meaning to write a review of it and it's big brother for older children). It really helped me with Rosemary when she hit that stage - until I forgot about everything I'd read in it, of course! Thank you xx Hee. Oh, you should really read Toddler Taming by Christopher Green (keep meaning to write a review of it and it’s big brother for older children). It really helped me with Rosemary when she hit that stage – until I forgot about everything I’d read in it, of course!

Thank you xx

]]> By: Tasha http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2756 Tasha Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:24:39 +0000 http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2756 It's quite likely to be frustration, yes. A lot of the time that is the trigger, but sometimes it's something seemingly inconsequential. There's more of it when she's tired. And... surprise surprise... more of it when I'm in a mood myself about something. The majority of the time I'm managing the calm, walking away approach, but now and then I've been known to stomp away and slam a door - vicious circle, here we come! It’s quite likely to be frustration, yes. A lot of the time that is the trigger, but sometimes it’s something seemingly inconsequential. There’s more of it when she’s tired. And… surprise surprise… more of it when I’m in a mood myself about something. The majority of the time I’m managing the calm, walking away approach, but now and then I’ve been known to stomp away and slam a door – vicious circle, here we come!

]]> By: Tasha http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2755 Tasha Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:22:58 +0000 http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2755 Yes, we have ended up in screaming matches, too. The thing is, I can spot her totalling mirroring my behaviour when I get upset/angry. Obviously, I suppose. But I'm really going to have to try to be the model of behaviour from now on. Count to ten... count to ten... Yes, we have ended up in screaming matches, too. The thing is, I can spot her totalling mirroring my behaviour when I get upset/angry. Obviously, I suppose. But I’m really going to have to try to be the model of behaviour from now on. Count to ten… count to ten…

]]> By: Tasha http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2754 Tasha Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:21:48 +0000 http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2754 That's interesting that the ignoring didn't work on you. My mum swears that I never threw a tantrum at all and that she was a bit worried that there might be something wrong with me, because everyone else's kids did. It's quite possible she's remembering with rose-tinted glasses. That’s interesting that the ignoring didn’t work on you. My mum swears that I never threw a tantrum at all and that she was a bit worried that there might be something wrong with me, because everyone else’s kids did. It’s quite possible she’s remembering with rose-tinted glasses.

]]> By: clareybabble http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2736 clareybabble Sat, 04 Sep 2010 19:17:04 +0000 http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2736 Little S is nearly 5 and he does have meltdowns. Whether it's just a normal thing or due to him being autistic, I don't know, but I find that leaving him alone helps or distraction. Baby B has tantrums too, her favourite place being in the middle of a shop! Again, I walk away (obviously staying within visual range) and after a while she gets up and runs after us, tantrum forgotten. Do you think that it's frustration, or a cry for attention when you are tending to Eleanor? I still have to deal with jealousy from one of mine if I'm doing something with the other. I think you're doing exactly the right thing though and it sounds like Rosemary is very mature for her age x Little S is nearly 5 and he does have meltdowns. Whether it’s just a normal thing or due to him being autistic, I don’t know, but I find that leaving him alone helps or distraction. Baby B has tantrums too, her favourite place being in the middle of a shop! Again, I walk away (obviously staying within visual range) and after a while she gets up and runs after us, tantrum forgotten.
Do you think that it’s frustration, or a cry for attention when you are tending to Eleanor? I still have to deal with jealousy from one of mine if I’m doing something with the other.
I think you’re doing exactly the right thing though and it sounds like Rosemary is very mature for her age x

]]> By: Emma http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2731 Emma Sat, 04 Sep 2010 08:58:29 +0000 http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2731 I cant be of no help as Oli is still a baby (ok I lie.. he's a toddler but I refuse to admit it!) .. we experienced our first tantrum from him yesterday , he was screaming because he didnt want to go the way we wanted him to when he was in his reins. That may be the first and last time we use them!! Rosemary is the mirror of you!! :) x PS Loving the new site!! I cant be of no help as Oli is still a baby (ok I lie.. he’s a toddler but I refuse to admit it!) .. we experienced our first tantrum from him yesterday , he was screaming because he didnt want to go the way we wanted him to when he was in his reins. That may be the first and last time we use them!! Rosemary is the mirror of you!! :) x

PS Loving the new site!!

]]> By: Iota http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2729 Iota Sat, 04 Sep 2010 04:26:08 +0000 http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2729 Sounds like you deal with it very calmly, and appropriately - just going into another room and letting her cool off, and then discussing it after the event. From what you say, I think that is probably a better approach than time out, or punishment. She probably can't really control herself - otherwise she wouldn't be screaming - so it's better to let her regain control (which is a skill she needs to learn) and then to talk about it calmly. Punishment at the time would lead to more frustration - would be my guess. Could it be frustration? Being ready to do more, and wanting to do more, but still having the limitations of a 4 year old. Sounds like you deal with it very calmly, and appropriately – just going into another room and letting her cool off, and then discussing it after the event. From what you say, I think that is probably a better approach than time out, or punishment. She probably can’t really control herself – otherwise she wouldn’t be screaming – so it’s better to let her regain control (which is a skill she needs to learn) and then to talk about it calmly. Punishment at the time would lead to more frustration – would be my guess.

Could it be frustration? Being ready to do more, and wanting to do more, but still having the limitations of a 4 year old.

]]> By: Alethea http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2716 Alethea Wed, 01 Sep 2010 10:10:16 +0000 http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2716 Sounds very familiar, my four year old seems to be going through a similar phase. You seem to be dealing with it very well! When it happens here my son and I often have a screaming match and my hubby has to step in and send us each to a different part of the house. But I think he is on the verge of a growth spurt, signs all point to it. Sounds very familiar, my four year old seems to be going through a similar phase. You seem to be dealing with it very well! When it happens here my son and I often have a screaming match and my hubby has to step in and send us each to a different part of the house.

But I think he is on the verge of a growth spurt, signs all point to it.

]]> By: Kate Collings http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2715 Kate Collings Wed, 01 Sep 2010 09:49:42 +0000 http://www.wahm-bam.org/2010/09/but-why-are-you-crying/#comment-2715 My youngling isnt as old as Rosemary, yet he is still prone to the odd screaming outburst. I tend to get down to his level, tell him to look at me, then I tell him why I am telling him off. My mum has started the naughty step, which youngling hates, but he knows not to act up again. Personally I found my parents just ignored me when I had tantrums which had the adverse effect on me. I used to crave their attention therefore screamed louder. Whatever you decide stick to it and dont flit between the two! Good luck and take care Kate Collings xx www.katecollings.blogspot.com - always welcoming new followers xx My youngling isnt as old as Rosemary, yet he is still prone to the odd screaming outburst. I tend to get down to his level, tell him to look at me, then I tell him why I am telling him off. My mum has started the naughty step, which youngling hates, but he knows not to act up again.

Personally I found my parents just ignored me when I had tantrums which had the adverse effect on me. I used to crave their attention therefore screamed louder.

Whatever you decide stick to it and dont flit between the two!

Good luck and take care
Kate Collings
xx

http://www.katecollings.blogspot.com – always welcoming new followers xx

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